Is Nesting The Right Decision For Your Family?

Going through a divorce is never easy. There are so many decisions that need to be made after you tell your kids that you have decided to get one. It goes without saying that the well-being of your children is the top priority for every divorcing parent. One of the most stressful aspects of a divorce for the children can be moving back and forth between their parent’s homes. This can often make kids feel out of place and unsettled. In order to maintain the highest level of consistency for the children, divorcing couples may consider the option of Nesting. This option affords the children the ability to stay in their home while their parents rotate in and out based on an agreed-upon schedule.  This can be an ideal way to co-parent and spend time with the children without requiring them to leave their home.

Divorce is an emotionally draining experience for the entire family, but particularly so for the children.  Moving out of their home only adds to the distress that children experience as a result of the changes happening in their family. Nesting can provide a sense of stability and security and help them to adjust to the divorce and the changing family dynamics.

There are many advantages to Nesting.  Perhaps the biggest advantage is the fact that the children are able to keep all of their belongings in one place.  This removes the stress of constantly packing and unpacking and inevitably forgetting needed items. In order to reduce the number of items that need to be transferred back and forth between households, many people purchase duplicates of clothing, toys, bicycles, toiletries, computers and other personal belongings. Although this helps reduce stress for everyone, it can also become a very expensive proposition.  Allowing the children to stay in their home with all of their belongings eliminates the cost.

Although Nesting can be a wonderful option, it does pose challenges for the divorcing couple. Nesting requires a high degree of selflessness and maturity to work effectively. Of course, there is the obvious burden, both financial and emotional, of maintaining two households. But beyond that, there is also a loss of privacy that results from sharing one of your homes with your former spouse.  Remaining connected in this way can make the process of moving on more challenging.  Distance is often the key to healing, finding closure and starting a new life. It can be very difficult to achieve that when you are spending half of your life surrounded by the belongings of the person and the trappings of the life that you used to have.

In order to successfully Nest, the relationship between you and your spouse needs to be healthy and mature. If Nesting sounds like a good option for your family, mediation is a great process to help you hammer out the details in a manner that meets the unique needs of your family. If you would like to explore this option further give us a call at 516 308-2922.