Divorce does not have to be a blood bath

There are many reasons why people decide to stay in an unhappy marriage – fear, complacency, hope, and obligation to name a few. The longer I practice in this area, the more I realize that a fast growing reason is fear of the judicial system

and the pre-conceived notion that every divorce must be or inevitably becomes a blood bath. Unfortunately, this view is often true. Litigation does nothing to foster a cooperative future for the couple and their children and it gives strangers the power to decide the future. People are very reluctant to subject themselves to lawyers and “the system” so they stay in unhappy and unhealthy relationships to avoid becoming a living statistic with the battle scars to prove it. However, divorce doesn’t have to be a battle.

There is a process option not readily known to the general public which affords you and your spouse the opportunity to restructure your financial and parental roles in a manner that allows you to remain a family. That process is collaborative divorce. Instead of having winners and losers, the parties work together along with a team of legal, financial and mental health experts to find solutions that work for everyone. The parties take control of the process with the support and guidance of other professionals working toward a common goal. Spouses don’t need to be paralyzed by fear of an unknown future. Collaborative practice can provide the impetus to leave a bad marriage by establishing a framework for a healthier and more positive divorce and post- divorce relationship.

Collaborative practice isn’t for everyone. For individuals who are highly litigious, often emotionally unstable and motivated primarily by hatred and revenge, litigation is the only answer. In some cases mediation may be the answer for spouses who have straight-forward issues and are emotionally capable of resolving their matter with the assistance of a mediator. For many other divorcing couples, however, collaborative practice provides an alternative solution.

Learn more about whether collaborative divorce is right for you.