Avoid a Divorce After an Unplanned Pregnancy
Your marriage may be going great and then all of a sudden you find out that you’re pregnant. This unplanned pregnancy can put a strain on a marriage. If you’re facing fear of a divorce after an unplanned pregnancy, there are tips that can help save your marriage and handle it the right way.
Try to Remain Calm
Remaining calm might be one of the most difficult steps. You’ve just found out you’re pregnant and your first instinct might be to panic. It’s normal to feel unprepared and overwhelmed when you find out that you’re going to have a baby. This is especially true if you and your spouse aren’t ready or weren’t planning to have a child.
Still, remain mindful of your emotions and try to stay calm and think about it rationally. You and your partner have options. It’s up to you to approach your spouse and have a difficult conversation, but keep in mind that the conversation will be harder if you aren’t calm.
Be Empathetic When Approaching Your Partner
In any situation with another person, empathy is crucial. When you practice empathy, you can put yourself in your spouse’s shoes. Most married couples know how their spouses feel about children and family planning. With this information, you can help judge how your husband will react. You know him better than anyone else. You know how he’ll take surprise news. Even if this is a difficult and new situation, you can still predict based on past behavior and discussions.
In addition to preparation, you can use your empathy to approach your partner. If he’s going to feel overwhelmed or stressed at the news, then you can use those feelings to frame how you will tell him. Let him know that you understand that it’s going to be difficult for him to hear and that even if the two of you feel differently, both of your feelings are valid. Try to imagine how you would want someone to approach you about the pregnancy and approach him in that way.
Voice Your Concerns Honestly
Pregnancy is so significant and important. This is not the time to simply pretend that you don’t feel one way to save your partner’s feelings. If you have worries about the pregnancy and how it will impact both of your lives, then you need to be open and honest about it. In marriage, there are going to be hard conversations to talk about. However, it’s up to you and your partner to know how to handle them. The more honest you are, the more respect you are showing your spouse.
Listen to Your Partner’s Feelings
In a marriage, communication can be one of the most important components. Those who cannot communicate may feel frustrated and defensive. While couples do communicate in some way, unfortunately not all couples communicate well. When discussing an unplanned pregnancy, the both of you need to be open as possible to communicating with one another.
Communication is a two-way street. While your spouse needs to hear what you have to say, you also need to hear what the other has to say. Sometimes, it may be difficult to hear your partner’s opinion. The two of you may not be on the same page. Still, you want to give them the platform to voice their opinions and fears. Don’t be quick to judge him. The two of you deserve a safe space to explain your feelings and take turns speaking and listening.
Try to Come to a Decision Together
Talking and coming to a decision can be one of the hardest parts of the process. How your marriage with your spouse will end up, depends on the ability to make tough decisions as a team. This does not mean that you have to come to an agreement about how you feel or what you believe is the right choice. At the end of the day, the two of you have to come to terms with the decision. Create a list of things that are going to change and how you plan on adjusting.
Make a list of things that the two of you can anticipate with your child. You want to make positivity a focal point. This doesn’t mean that you dismiss any potential issues either. Also, list the cons and see how they weigh out against the positive points. If it turns out that neither of you is ready for a child, that’s okay. You can still give the child a good life with another family.
An unplanned pregnancy can put a massive strain on a marriage. To steer clear of divorce after an unplanned pregnancy, you need to be ready to speak with your partner, listen to their concerns, and to come to a decision together.
